


innocence died screaming (honey, ask me, i should know)

by rudderless in an ocean of stars (ellieindelibly)



Category: Batwoman (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Ficlet, Gen, Introspection, alice/beth centric, written post 1x11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:21:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22669216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellieindelibly/pseuds/rudderless%20in%20an%20ocean%20of%20stars
Summary: “It’s not long after the headaches start that the dreams begin- bright, perfect, torturous flashes of a life that Alice had only ever been able to dream of in the confines of her cell, a life that never got to be hers.”//The one in which Alice remembers impossible things, thanks to a glitch in the universe.
Relationships: Beth Kane & Kate Kane
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	innocence died screaming (honey, ask me, i should know)

**Author's Note:**

> I felt a bit bad about making that anon on Tumblr wait so long for a new fic when we’ve already had to wait a few weeks for the new episode, so here is a very short little Alice-centric ficlet involving her thoughts on other!Beth. 
> 
> I doubt the show will take this path, but it was a thought that got stuck in my head nonetheless so here we are. Title taken from Hozier’s From Eden, which is a glorious work of art. :)

It’s not long after the headaches start that the dreams begin- bright, perfect, _torturous_ flashes of a life that Alice had only ever been able to dream of in the confines of her cell, a life that never got to be hers.

Joining the debate team and model U.N. in high school while Kate breezed through tryouts for a spot on the varsity lacrosse team. Being shoved out of bed too early on Saturday mornings so Kate could have a running buddy on her morning jog. Getting waffles at the park whenever she places first in competitions and whenever Kate’s team wins a match. Blissful trips to the lake with their shared circle of friends during the blistering heat of summer.

Picking out the same places to apply at as volunteers to complete the hours mandatory community service that their school requires students to have in order to graduate. Continuing to take the time to volunteer at the animal shelter and the veterans’ home even after they’ve met the required number of volunteer hours because they’ve both fallen in love with the work that they do in order to help others.

Lying in bed beside her other half as Kate quietly confesses that she wants to enroll at West Point, that she wants to serve her country. Seeing the mixture of guilt and worry pooling in her sister’s eyes and soothing it away with a smile and a whispered “I’m proud of you.” Making her own decision to study abroad and explore the world on her own, hundreds of thousands of miles further away from Kate than she ever thought she’d willingly choose to be and happily discovering that no amount of distance can do anything to diminish their bond.

After Mouse explains what had happened in the junkyard with Kate, tells her of the woman who’d had everything of Alice’s except for her memory, it doesn’t take much effort to put two and two together and figure out that something most normal people would consider to be impossible has happened. But then again, Alice hasn’t known _normal_ since the day she’d found herself waking up to live in a nightmare; impossible things are her stock-in-trade.

When another one of her new headaches sends Alice to her knees with gritted teeth, she feels herself slipping right out of her own mind and into a painful in-between for several agonizing minutes. It’s worth it, though, because she clings onto consciousness long enough to catch glimpses of college classes she’d never taken, lectures involving astrophysics and quantum theory, just before the sheer pain of it all overwhelms her and a familiar darkness rises to drag her into the deep. Alice wakes up with most of the blanks in her knowledge on the situation filled in and fresh tendrils of a deadly envy creeping around her heart and starting to squeeze.

This other woman, this sweet and happy and _normal_ Beth, with no traces of despair or resentment or _Alice_ in her, is _~~definitely~~_ probably a dream come true for Kate.

A second chance. The perfect do-over. No broken bridges and burning cars and dead bodies and missing years of forced separation between them. 

Same as it never was.

She wonders what the other woman sees during the migraines and dreams they must both be experiencing now. If Alice is getting tantalizing glimpses of what would have been heaven for the desperate little girl who’d died in the cold basement of a house full of horrors, is Beth being introduced to the hell she’d clearly never had to live through? The bitter taste of blood fills her mouth as Alice bites down on her own tongue to keep herself from screaming out her newfound rage.

Beth doesn’t have the right to go poking around in Alice’s head, digging up all the things that should stay buried and gone. (Beth doesn’t have the right to show Alice all the things that could have been.)

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a review, hug any and all of the Hamilton-Kanes. 
> 
> Rao knows they need it.
> 
> yell at me on tumblr: @rudderless-in-an-ocean-of-stars or check out my instagram: @lavender.beth where i post batwoman edits :)


End file.
